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shattered thoughts

Tuesday, March 16, 2004


Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: calm

Friday, January 2, 2004


why am i not dead yet?

Tuesday, August 5, 2003


its always calm before the storm....its taken so long but i love how you always find the right words to remind me of how worthless i am....slowly bleeding from inside....slowly hating everything that you are....at one point i wanted to be just like you....now i just want to kill you....look what you've done to me....you were always loved more....hit him back....hit him back....i felt you slip away....and now i don't miss you....i've always hated you....i used to think i could never care....but now i look back at what i've said....you always were the plastic one....i always cared too much....i tried to warn the people you hurt....i know how you like to hurt....but i forgot....they needed it....just like i never needed it....i never needed to you....until you made me need you....then you threw me away....and now i just want to watch you die.

Current mood: calm

Saturday, July 12, 2003

12:56AM - bleed until it is dry

so much for yesterday as i lie here bleeding my soul out fighting to stay alive when i have nothing to live for but the memory of things which i never had and now i think i never wanted them but i'm not sure and i doubt i ever will be just lying here letting the wounds bleed themselves dry and one day i will stop feeling i've tried to dress the wounds but they will never stop bleeding until they are dry

Current mood: drained

Sunday, July 6, 2003

10:22PM - its friends like you....

why must i wake up this way every damned day miserable and alone you tell me i'm doing it to myself you tell my you love me but you know its not what i'm looking for its friends like you that make me feel so alone because you know i love you but its not like that and you know it so many people tell me they care so many people tell me that i'm doing this to myself but its friends like these that make me feel so alone

Current mood: concussed

Sunday, June 29, 2003


will i ever find anything besides this wretched feeling of being alone

Current mood: depressed


You're PUNK. You don't want to fit in, you don't
like authority or conformists.

i hate punk

Current mood: confused

Friday, June 27, 2003


got new glasses, so hot, so absolutely hot, unbelievably hot, oh yeah and i got a copy of the koran, why? i have no clue, but i wanna read it, so i got it.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003


reaching back for yesterday stuck in the middle somewhere wishing i were ready to die, or maybe ready to be born again, just waiting for something else than this misery i seem to be stuck in, stuck between heaven and hell fight to find a way to escape the pain that i let enter of my own will, fighting both demons and angels on a plain of existance which only i suffer to let exist or does it suffer to let me exist, this indecision which i face everyday and put off just to make every morning i wake up that much worse i cry when i really don't want sympathy, or understanding, or is that what i want, crying out to the gods that torment my life to end it or to renew it so i am not what you see before you but destroyed or glorified just not stuck in this pit of pugatorial resentment and punishment as i pay for the sins of ignorance for the sins of a life i never got to live.


i wish duran duran would play my birthday party

Current mood: cold


ok, today sucks, 20 is such a pointless age, and now i must suffer it for a year. i want to be a teen again

Thursday, June 19, 2003


i wish it were snowing

Sunday, June 15, 2003


i wish it were autumn again as i fall into your arms back when i still believed you wanted to be with me before all the leaves were brushed away and your lies were no longer covered by the falling dead leaves of yesterdays blossoms so sad when everything we were falls down dying along with everything i was before that cleared of all my former self so that i am now the thing i am and never will again be the thing that loved you so much

Current mood: drained

Friday, June 13, 2003

10:59PM - flawed

silently screaming out to the angel of death to take me from this sorrow let down by a faith i cannot find left to suffer by a god that lied to us all once i find happiness i find you once i find you i find suffering and such is the cycle of pain brought on by a passing friend that never cared just as you never cared creation of hatred to be all that you are not yet told to love you for all you are make us as your enemy then require our love your i am not perfect and i am made in your image i am not here as your toy i am here to live life as you made me and you made me to despise you and all you created

Current mood: determined


The Hammer

What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, June 11, 2003


prince was the fucking man in the 80's
ugh i might as well just grow a mullet and get some tight pants, the 80's were freaking awesome

Current mood: crazy


ok duran duran was hot shit in the 80's too

Current mood: crushed


would you hold my hand if i saw you in heaven?

Current mood: pensive

Tuesday, June 10, 2003


the only good thing that came out of the 80's was tom cruise, well that and the gogo's of course..........wait, i was born in the 80's shit.

Current mood: neurotic


why would anyone want to re-live the 80's?

Current mood: annoyed

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